


Scars

by Burgie



Series: WillowxAlex AU [14]
Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-17 07:07:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17555693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burgie/pseuds/Burgie
Summary: Alex discovers her girlfriend's scars from her secret trips to Pandoria. Willow belongs to willownorthbook.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willownorthbook](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willownorthbook/gifts).



One thing that Alex knew about her girlfriend was that Willow went through periods where she didn't want intimacy. Oh, kissing was fine, and hugging, but whenever Alex's hands moved down around Willow's waist, Willow pushed her hands away, muttering an apology.

"It's okay," said Alex. "I can wait."

"Thank you," said Willow, tears in her eyes as she looked at her girlfriend.

It wasn't that Willow didn't want to. Because she did want to, she wanted so badly for Alex to pin her down and have her way with her (or hold her up, a thought that always made her weak at the knees), but she just...

She really didn't want Alex to see the scars on her thighs. Pandoria left its mark, thankfully in a spot that was easier to hide this time. Though, the scars did remind Willow of other scars that had never graced her skin. That would never grace her skin. No matter how down she got, how dark it all seemed, she'd never considered harming herself. Pandoria was different. She just- she had to keep going back there, had to at least try to get back to Anne. Because maybe if she conquered her fear of the place, maybe if she went there enough, she'd stop dreaming about losing Hawkeye in that awful way, stop shaking in terror at the sight of anything pink. And by Aideen, she could only imagine how things were for Anne, how bad things would be for Anne once she finally escaped from that damned place.

And so Willow could only watch as Alex walked away, could only hug herself as the guilt ate away at her, could only bite back the tears. They'd made so much progress, and now... now, it was like it had all gone back to step one.

And Willow hated it.

Alex came back, though, thankfully, declaring that they could watch Jorflix together instead. And Willow smiled at her, agreeing to snuggle up on the couch with her girlfriend and do nothing more advanced than kissing for the duration of the movie.

Their evenings continued as such for a few weeks, their kisses progressing beyond just lips to necks as well and down arms. When Alex kissed the palm of Willow's hand, Willow's eyes fluttered and she would have swooned if she wasn't already reclining on the couch.

"Well, my love?" Alex asked, faking a bad accent so that Willow laughed. "Shall we adjourn to the bedroom?"

And Willow, her heart pounding, her cheeks and body heated with a flush from being so pent up, from Alex's earlier kisses on her neck, nodded, not even hesitating. She gave a little yelp as Alex picked her up from the couch and carried her into Willow's bedroom. Alex tossed her onto the bed, standing over her with heat in her gaze that sent heat pooling directly between Willow's thighs.

"The doors and windows are all locked and the pets are out," said Alex, leaning over her girlfriend. "Time to play." Willow grinned up at her, already pulling her black sweater off to reveal the black tank top beneath. Alex's fingertips skimmed over the thin fabric of Willow's tank top, making Willow moan and arch her back into Alex's touch. And then, Alex hooked her fingers beneath the bottom of the tank top, peeling it off of Willow's body so that she could kiss the bare flesh beneath.

"Alex," Willow murmured, her fingers already at Alex's white tank top. Alex had already removed much of her clothing during the movie, being the subject of the arm kisses. Her white hoodie and blue flannel were still on the living room floor, and her tank top soon ended up on Willow's bedroom floor. Willow leaned into her, pressing their bare flesh together before Alex moved away a little to press kisses down Willow's neck, ending between her breasts.

"God, Wills, you're beautiful," Alex murmured, her hands smoothing down over Willow's skin. Willow was enjoying herself so much that she didn't even register that Alex's hands were on the fly of her jeans. Well, she did, but she didn't care. Didn't remember why that was a bad idea. Didn't remember any of it until Alex pulled her jeans down and then uttered a small gasp that stopped Willow's desire right in her tracks.

Immediately, Willow sat up, scurrying away from Alex and trying to hide her thighs, the glowing pink Pandoric scars on them, from her girlfriend who was growing increasingly more concerned. The heat from earlier had fled her, leaving her feeling cold and embarrassed.

"Shit," Willow whispered, staring at her fingers clutched in her duvet so that she wouldn't look at Alex, wouldn't see the anger and shame that was undoubtedly there.

"When?" Alex asked. Her voice was- gentle. Willow dared a glance up, looking through silvery hair. Alex didn't look upset, only concerned. And-

"Why do you look guilty?" Willow asked. "It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is," said Alex, looking at her steadily. Sometimes, her silver eyes looked like quicksilver. This was one of those times, burning with intensity. "If I was around, if I was paying attention, I would've noticed this. So when, Willow?"

"A-after Katja's race," said Willow. "I had these really horrible dreams about losing Hawkeye in Pandoria and I just- I couldn't stop going back there, Alex. I'm sorry."

"When I was grounded," said Alex softly, closing her eyes.

"Yeah," said Willow. "So there was literally nothing you could've done about it. And you were grieving Concorde and just-" She sighed. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Willow, you're allowed to bother me about shit like this," said Alex, gently gripping Willow's forearms and giving her a little shake. Willow looked at her through teary eyes.

"But it's just me, it's not as important as finding Concorde or any of that," said Willow.

"Hey," said Alex, giving Willow another shake. "You're my girlfriend, Wills, you're important. Are you still going there?" Willow's silence was answer enough. Alex sighed. "Wills..."

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to stop," said Willow. "I really am." Alex sighed and leaned in to kiss her. Willow returned the kiss but pulled away too soon. Alex looked at her sadly.

"Fuck, Wills, if I'd known, I would've..." Alex trailed off, looking down at the scars again.

"You would've what, told Elizabeth so she'd ground me along with you?" Willow asked. "Or ignored me like she always does when I have a question?"

"No," said Alex. "I would've pinned you down so you couldn't go. Stayed with you every night to help you deal with the nightmares. Hunted down that bitch for causing them, and I still might. But I wouldn't dob you in to Elizabeth." Willow's eyes filled with tears that she blinked away. But at the same time, she could almost laugh at the absurdity of it. At the thought that immediately flashed to the forefront of her mind. God, she'd never heard the end of it if she admitted this to any of her friends, but...

"Pinned me down, huh?" Willow asked, smirking up at Alex.

"Not that I'm judging, but are you sure?" Alex asked. "Because I have an idea." And just like that, heat started to trickle back into Willow.

"All of your ideas are good, in my experience," said Willow. "Lay it on me."

"Do the scars on your thighs hurt?" Alex asked. It was so sudden that Willow blinked.

"Uh, no?" said Willow.

"Okay," said Alex, nodding. "Good." Willow was a little confused when Alex moved away from her, though her heart picked up its pace again as Alex pulled Willow's pants off completely, tugged Willow's legs towards her, and knelt down to lean forward between them, as though about to give her oral. Willow's breath caught in her throat, but Alex didn't get that close. Yet.

Instead of going right for the damp spot between Willow's thighs, Alex's lips insead went to the small scars on Willow's thighs. They weren't glowing, not exactly, but they were still a bright pink that seemed out of place against Willow's pale skin. And though Willow couldn't see exactly what was going on, she still felt every kiss. Intimately. She'd honestly believed, with all her heart, that Alex would hate her scars. Would judge her for them. But instead, Alex kissed each scar almost reverently.

"Why?" Willow asked when Alex looked up, her grey eyes burning like molten steel.

"Because," said Alex. "I might not like why they're there, and I might feel guilty, but dammit, these scars are a part of you now, Wills. I don't love you any less for them."

"Really?" Willow asked.

"Yes," said Alex, fingers gently stroking across the scars. She traced each one with her fingers, then her lips, then her tongue. Willow gave a shaky sigh at the last touch, moaning softly as Alex's mouth got closer to her panties.

"That feels better than it should," Willow muttered. Alex laughed, grinning up from between her girlfriend's legs.

"Oh, so you like me worshipping your scars, huh?" Alex asked. Willow blushed.

"It's because of the thigh touches and kisses, that's all," said Willow. Alex winked.

"Sure it is," said Alex. She gestured to Willow's panties. "Shall I do the honours?"

"Absolutely," said Willow, and moved her hips and legs to help Alex remove her panties and discard them on the floor with the other clothing. And then, there was nothing stopping Alex from dragging her tongue over the wetness between Willow's legs and making Willow give a small cry of delight.

"I love you, Willow," said Alex, lifting her head for a moment. "Every part of you. Scars and all."

"Stop, you're gonna make me cry," said Willow, though the tears were already back. Happy ones this time, though. Alex loved her. Even with the scars, even with the fact that she'd kept this from her girlfriend, Alex loved Willow. And that fact only made Willow love Alex even more in return.

"Hey now, I'm not into crying during sex," said Alex. And Willow laughed again, though she sobered up when Alex got back to business. Though she couldn't see Alex's hands on her thighs, Willow could just imagine the pink of her scars showing through Alex's fingers like Pandoric cracks. Just, these were cracks that couldn't be closed Or at least, if they could be closed, Willow didn't know of a way. Maybe there was a way. Or maybe she was just stuck like this for now.

Thankfully, Alex's skilled tongue was very good at making Willow's brain shut up. With Alex here, all that Willow could concentrate on was the feeling of her girlfriend's tongue flicking and circling her clit, dipping inside her to swirl around, and thrusting in and out in the same way that Alex's fingers could (and had done on many occasions). And the feeling of Alex's fingers digging into her thighs, and the sounds that Alex made with her tongue, and the sheer strength behind Alex's fingers, and Alex, Alex, Alex...

Willow used to apologise for not lasting longer, for not writhing around quite so much, for being so submissive in bed. But not anymore. Alex liked that about her, actually, saying that it gave her plenty more opportunities to bring her girlfriend completely undone. Willow had blushed like a tomato the first time that Alex had said that. And she still blushed now.

"The scars really don't bother you?" Willow asked as Alex came up to lie on her side beside her girlfriend.

"No," said Alex. "Well, okay, yes, but it's not a huge deal. I know now, and I'm gonna do everything I can to help you get better." Willow blinked back tears, biting her lower lip.

"You don't have to," said Willow.

"Hey, you know my hero complex- I very much do have to," said Alex. Willow smiled at her, though she quickly averted her gaze.

"Thank you," said Willow, speaking more to a spot on the wall. Alex propped herself up on her elbow so that she was in Willow's line of sight, though.

"I wouldn't be a good girlfriend if I wasn't understanding," said Alex. "Besides, you've probably already received a stern, motherly lecture on why you shouldn't go to Pandoria and why you should look after yourself."

"Her empath powers are growing stronger and that scares me," Willow muttered. "I swear she knew before she took me on that trail ride but then I fell off Shaggy and suddenly, my jeans tore open and revealed the scars for the whole world to see. It was more just a concerned motherly discussion, though."

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me," said Alex. "I'm glad you've got friends to look out for you, even when your girlfriend isn't. But I'll be here more now, I promise."

"Maybe I'll have to pin you down so you don't leave," said Willow, her voice having a little more life in it now. More promise. Alex's eyes glittered with knowing as she grinned.

"I'd like to see you try," said Alex. Willow gave her a mischievous grin, and Alex laughed as her girlfriend quickly straddled her. God, it was so nice to see Willow like this. Alive. Happy. With a sparkle in her eyes and a grin on her face. Pandoria hadn't managed to squash that, not entirely. The real Willow was still in there somewhere, it was just a matter of bringing her out and making her shine. Maybe her stepbrother could help with that.

But later. Right now, Alex was very much enjoying having the tables turned on her.


End file.
